On one of the cycling email lists that I partake in, one of the guys had done some calculations on how fast Levi Leipheimer could complete a local TT that we hold each year. I started pondering, “What would it take for me to get on the podium with Levi?! Dedication, hard work, and the right diet and fitness program, right?"
Immediately I ran over to my computer (actually, I was already sitting there, so there was no “running” going on), broke out my calculator, CyclingPeaks software, and the Critical Power calculator that I got from the Google Wattage group a few months ago, and began to envision free trips to France and hot babes bending down to kiss me on the cheek as I dawned the way-too-big yellow jersey. The more I typed, the more my dream lost focus though. Soon, the babes morphed into a cloud of numbers and math symbols.
Lucidity returned as my kids started to fight over who is making faces at whom. I continued to calculate.
I now know why I am not an international pro. It turns out to get the same power-weight ratio as the elites, I need to increase my threshold power by 93 watts. At my peak, I maybe can get 20. Another 70 on top of that is surely out of the question. However, there is still hope. I could increase my power-weight ratio by losing weight. As long as I can maintain my current power, and I choose only the real hilly pro-tour races, I could simply hide in the peloton on the flats, and then go with the climbers on the hills. Good plan; now let’s run the numbers.
Since my race weight is currently a scant 117 pounds, this may be a challenge. You see, I am already freakin’ hungry just trying to lose 3 pounds. Turns out I need to lose 33! Tough task… At 84 pounds, not only would I look like one of the Olsen twins, but I would lose power in the process. Technically, I would be in a coma. I certainly could not maintain my fitness while in a coma.
I think I’ll go play X-box with my son.
