Saturday, October 27, 2007

Anyone interested in some nose bleeds?

Having just finished a hard ride, I roll home and plop in the couch turn on the tube and subsequently fall asleep.    Sometime later, in a semi-lucid state, I hear this commercial, “Would you like in some nasal sores, nasal fungal infection, glaucoma or cataracts?”  My interest is piqued, so I crack one eye open. 

It continues, “Well, then step right up and grab a bottle of Veramyst.  This stuff is your answer to treating your nasal symptoms such as congestion, sneezing, and a runny nose.”   

Wait.  Did I hear that right? 

“Be sure to ask your doctor if Veramyst is right for you.”

Say what?!?!  Am I supposed to ask my doctor if nasal fungus is “right for me?”  I am not a doctor, but I think I can figure that one out. Ok, so maybe that is not exactly how the commercial went, but I could swear that’s how I remember it. 

Regardless, isn’t that what all the drug commercials are saying nowadays anyway?  Aren’t all of them saying stuff like, “Don’t use [insert product name here] while operating a motor vehicle, or if you have kidneys which need to function.”  Well, obviously, they really don’t want the public to know that their product has all kinds of horrible side-effects, so there has got to be a law compelling them to do it.  Right?  I am sure they’re not killing sales out of respect for full disclosure, or out of sheer altruism. 

Maybe they are doing it to shield themselves from lawsuits.  “Your honor, despite our warnings that his eyes would fall out if he used our product, the plaintiff continued to use our product.  And, as you can clearly see, the plaintiff no longer has bloodshot eyes.”    bigburger.jpg

I have noticed though that other types of companies are not talking about their side-effects.  Can you imagine watching fast-food joints try and hawk cheeseburgers?  That would be excellent:  “Warning, excessive use may cause high cholesterol, heart attack, stroke, and in remote cases, death.  Some people have been known to have very large bowel movements 1 to 2 days after ingesting a triple cheeseburger.  Ask your doctor if cheeseburgers are right for you.”  

Of course, this would never happen.  What doctor in their right mind would write a prescription for that!?